September 11, 2020
Good morning Lovelies, God is such a great God. Father, I thank You for the Power of Your Word and Your Presence over my life. I thank You that no weapon formed against me will prosper, for greater are You who is in us than he who is in the world. I pray that You will cast down every threat and accusation, every abusive word and cruel attack thrown my way. I praise You that nothing is impossible with You that You are loving and gracious, full of mercy and power. I trust You alone. Thank you that You are my protector and Strong Tower, my refuge, and my strength. Thank You that you fight for me daily and in my weakness, You make me strong. In the Mighty, Matchless Name of Jesus. Amen!
I’d like to dedicate this new blog to my sons. Brandon and Devin. Who at many times didn’t really understand some of the things that Momma did and a lot of the decisions she made. No matter how sometimes we clashed at times, through it all, we still had each other. Remember as well, two of my blessings who are now back in the arms of the Lord. Corey and Ashanti. Corey whose smile was so infectious and bright it lit up a room. Hearing his words to me that he was proud of me for being a single parent, pursuing my dreams, and just showing him that with God you can do all things. Ashanti who departed 13 years after his brother, who was such an ambitious young man who was creative and always made me feel like a queen and constantly told me with the special phrase he used, every time he saw me “Hey there pretty lady.” Their spirits are with me daily.
I’ve always felt that God has something for me to do. I usually say that I don’t know what the ministry is that He has for me is yet. But, He will reveal it to me in time. I’m a firm believer that sometimes God has to take you through certain trials and tribulations to get you to the level He wants you to be on. I felt this years ago after the death of my son Corey. As time goes on we sometimes lose sight of what God has shown us. Not because He has left us but because we tend to let other things, circumstances, etcetera, cloud our thinking and blind us to what it is God has for us to do or even sometimes say.
Sure at the time I was studying my Bible, at church every week. Not really knowing when I lost sight of my focus. But, God always kept my mindset on the fact that I wasn’t seeking Him as I use to. Fasting and praying as I use to. Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. God was in my thoughts daily but He became the back burner thought if you understand what I’m saying. It became more Kim and less of Him. Working two jobs at times, handling money, and basically doing my own thing without seeking Him as I use to.
The warning signs were there that God was trying to slow me down, but I wasn’t hearing Him. Then it happened. In 2002, Kim was stopped. There was a surgery that I needed that changed my whole life. The surgery was a simple one that was done on a daily basis. Four days after being discharged I was thirty minutes away from death when Ashanti got me back to the hospital. I was rushed back into surgery and placed in a medically induced coma for a month and a half while they did everything to save me. When they finally reversed the medically induced coma and after having the trach removed, I had to learn how to talk, write, and walk all over again.
I can remember being so angry when I was brought out of the coma only able to speak with my eyes. I felt like so much of my life had been stripped from me. Not realizing that God was doing a cleansing in me. Spent almost eight months in the hospital, not being well enough to go home, I ended up in a nursing home. I can remember saying to myself here I am forty-two years old and in a nursing home. I had to come to grips with my anger. I realized that if God was truly ready for me no matter what efforts the doctors put forth He would have taken me home to be with Him. So I began praying that God would take away my complaining spirit. I found myself dealing with my illness better and God began to strengthen me. When I got rid of my “why me” syndrome, He began teaching me to have more patience, compassion, humility, and love for others and myself. He took me to John 11:4, where it says, “This sickness is not onto death, it is for My Son Jesus Christ to be glorified.” He definitely used this trauma to show that he was in control and had the last say. He made sure that everyone knew it was only Him that I was still here. He also spoke to me letting me know that He didn’t give me a second chance at life to go around mad or hating this person or that one because they didn’t come to see me or whatever the issue was before my initial surgery. There were those that thought that I should be angry, but I couldn’t worry about them or how they did or didn’t understand why I wasn’t. I was focusing on what God told me.
Now that I think about it, and I listen to the Holy Spirit, God has let me know that my ministry has been with me all along. He said to me, “why do you think you like to express yourself on paper.” Thus the reasoning for creating this blog. I’ve had so many things written, notebooks everywhere, and pieces of paper when thoughts come. I know to some you won’t understand the rhyme or reasoning of it. But the Spirit didn’t lead me to write in any certain order on the subjects that I wrote and write about.
I also truly believe that when the Holy Spirit leads you and guides you that whatever it leads you to share with others, it is always for you first. So don’t assume that I feel that I’m an expert on the subjects that I have written about, I’m just someone that God Choose to share with you what He has given me. There were so many subjects that the Spirit lead me to touch on but the one that really touched me the most is when I wrote about wives and relationships. These two subjects were very eye-opening to me. Being someone that has been on both sides of the fence as they say. (The wife and the other woman). Yes, me. I’ve shared in several posts how every year God gives me a word and for the last two years it has been “transparent.” I feel that it has been the same word for two years because I wasn’t being just that “Transparent!
God definitely showed me what is truly meant by the two and who I was in this area. If given the opportunity again to be a wife, the spiritual understanding of my purpose and feelings will allow me to be all that I’m supposed to be. There’s always going to be that person or persons who are always trying to remind you of what you did or what you use to do. But, I’ve realized that this is another way that the devil tries to stop what God has done or is going to do. So many times we don’t see God doing anything or we feel like He has done something to change a situation when in all actuality it’s just us thinking it was God.
The Bible shows us that the devil can come in many disguises. I thank God for the ability to have forgiveness because in short, how can I say that I embrace God and His Son Jesus Christ if I cannot forgive. In closing, I say don’t let God’s best for you be wasted on the illusion of greener pastures somewhere else. Life is too short to dwell in the past, changing this message from Beginning/End to…..The Beginning! Because with every Ending there is a-Beginning!! A new journey!
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.” Isaiah 43: 18-19
Love life, give people hope and share your heart, wisdom, and resources. Never place a period where God says there should be a comma. As always peace and blessings, be safe. Take advantage of your opportunities but never allow your opportunities to take advantage of you. Remember God loves you and so do I. krw©9.11.2020
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